labor labor labor day weekend

Let me tell you...
hit the road to go to cedar rapids.
flat tire, no- exploded tire just outside of grinnell.
put on donut
drive backwards down the on-ramp
baby not yet back yet in her carseat.
walk around and around hy-vee and theison's.
two hours and four new tires
back on the road.
baby sleeps.
get to cedar rapids
let baby walk around for a bit
caravan with rest of family down to st. louis.
husband follows dad.
husband get pulled over and a $102 ticket.
dad gets nothing.
stop to eat.
go to a park to let baby walk/stretch/play.
husband walks in on two people about to do it in the park restroom.
guy pulls the girls bra out of the tree and they walk away. weird.
husband completely clogs park restroom. and leaves it like that.
can't find hotel.
call hotel.
follow their directions.
get lost.
call hotel back.
oops. sorry. we told you the wrong way.
arrive at hotel at approx. 11:00.
goal was to arrive around 5:00.
my brother's bed has no blankets.
the hotel is out of cribs.
husband goes back out to find a wal-mart to buy a pac-n-play.
dad has frozen mom's water
it explodes all over the hotel room when he tries to open it for her.
husband returns with a pac-n-play.
and no sheets for it.
wrap a hotel sheet around the mat.
room services brings blankets for my brother.
everyone turns out the lights.
11:30. baby won't sleep.
turn on light.
play with baby.
12:00. baby gets sleepy.
rock baby.
and rock baby.
and rock baby.
lay baby down.
baby screams.
rock baby.
1:00. lay baby down.
get in bed.
baby screams.
ask husband to rock baby this time.
husband gets mad.
baby is mad.
mommy is mad. and about to cry.
husband rocks baby.
gets back in bed.
baby screams.
rock baby.
try laying baby inbetween us.
baby screams.
rock baby.
sit down to rock baby.
baby screams.
rock baby and silently count backwards from 500.
that works.
2:00. lay baby down.
don't move.
don't breathe.
get in bed.
baby screams.
its 5:30.
rock baby.
lay down.
baby screams.
it's 6:30.
time to start the day!
husband takes baby.
sleep for an hour.
now everyone's late.
did dad forget to mention the reunion is outside?
get a phone call.
husband's grandma died.
whole family showers, repacks, and gets back in the car.
starving.
mc donalds drive thru.
fruit and yogurt parfait.
not enough.
oh well.
drive drive drive
wait for the ferry.
spill wjole cup of jelly bellies on the ground.
get on the ferry.
float across the river.
get off ferry.
drive drive drive.
go too far.
turn around.
ask a park ranger for directions.
get to family reunion.
they waited for us.
we're not late.
hooray.
sing hymns. not kidding.
go to restaurant to eat with extended family.
they've already been seated.
and are eating.
put our name on the list.
wait.
wait.
wait wait wait.
clip toenails out on the veranda. seriously.
name is called.
are seated.
restaurant is half empty.
still no waiter.
wait wait wait
wait for the waiter.
feed hungry baby jelly packets on the table.
finally order our drinks.
wait wait.
order our food.
wait wait wait.
baby's sandwhich comes- HUGE.
daddy's meal comes- tiny.
switch meals.
mine wasn't that bad.
finish lunch.
baby's mad.
needs a nap.
but doesn't want to get back in car.
change baby's diaper in parking lot.
g e t i n t h e c a r a g a i n.
drive.
drive drive drive
all over again.
brakes start to squeel and not work quite right.
worry.
two hours
baby wakes up.
stop at a park for baby to walk/stretch/play.
too hot. no shade.
get back in car.
go to burger king.
eat gross food.
baby too little to play in 'play area' with other kids.
get back in car.
baby's mad.
stop at the next town.
go to wal-mart.
let baby walk, look at toys, books, flirt with sales people, do a little shopping.
change baby's diaper in the parking lot.
get back in the car.
baby sleeps.
drive drive drive
drive
drive
d r i v e
dig thru suitcase in backseat.
change into pj's in front seat.
take out contacts, put on glasses.
get back home at approx. 10:30.

sleep.
sleep sleep sleep.

2 comments:

chris boz said...

too funnnnnny!

Tim said...

I don't know which is funnier...you writing about it or having you both tell the story...