"...every trace of him seems to have vanished..."

"i waited for you today
but you didn't show.
i needed you today.
so where did you go?
you told me to call
said you'd be there
and though i haven't seen you
are you still there?

i cry out will no reply and
i can't feel you by my side
so i'll hold tight to what i know
you're here
and i'm never alone.

we cannot separate
cause you're part of me
and though i haven't see you i'll
trust the unseen"
-'never alone" by barlow girl

"to love involves trusting the beloved beyond the evidence, sometimes even against much evidence." - c.s. lewis

the screwtape letters is a book written by my FAVORITE author, c.s. lewis. it is a fictional book about a demon teaching a young demon how to incapacitate the christian man he has been assigned to. the following is a sample letter 'uncle screwtape' has written to his nephew.

"you must have often wondered why the enemy (God) does not make more use of his power to sensibly present himself to human souls in any degree he chooses and at any moment. But you now see that the irresistable and the indisputable are the two weapons which the very nature of his sceme forbids him to use. merely to over-ride a human will (as his felt presense in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for him useless. he cannot ravish. he can only woo. for his ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatues are to be one with him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimulate them, will not serve... sooner or later he withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscience experience, all supports and incentives. he leaves the creature to stand up on it's own legs- to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish... he cannot tempt to virtue as we do with vice. he wants them to learn to walk and therefore must take away his hand... our cause is never so in danger then when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our enemy's will, looks round upon the universe, from which every trace of him seems to have vanished, asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

(God made us and gave us everything we need. He marked out our appointed times in history and even where we would live...) "God did this so that we would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not very far from any one of us. for in him we live and move and have our being." acts 17:24-26 paraphrase, 27-28 verbatim.

"he would not enslave man by a miracle." -ivan karamazov

he cannot ravish. he can only woo.
i cumble. i cling to hope.