Writing a blog is a really weird thing because one never really knows who the audience is. One entry might be written in hopes that a certain someone will read it giving you an uninterrupted forum, whether that means apologize, or berate, or profess undying love. An entry might be written to no one, a purging exercise. Entries may be written for oneself and only meant to let others look on. You can kind of tell by the tone of a blog. I think I have been a little moody on mine here- optimistic, funny, judgmental, maybe a little fearful. I just want to be honest. Vulnerable. Three dimensional. I think the most surprising thing to me is that this is where Jesus lives. In the gritty steps and tired shoulders of our lives. For me, it is the mediocre that is so itchy. Nothings wrong, but things aren't exactly right either. Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful life. A baby who is healthy and sweet and funny. A husband I can talk to and who will sit out in his car in the company parking lot on his cell phone with me refusing to go inside until we have forgiven each other for the argument we had before he left that morning. He leaves no room for grudges or bitterness. He insists we keep our hearts soft toward each other. I have a home and a dog and a car and a cell phone and an awesome extended family. But those things do not make for a perfect life or bring complete peace in the quiet, pensive moments.
I think we can have joy in what is to come and the peace of God's presence now. But even when things are going good for me, there are others in my life who are hurting, lonely, grieving. The world is broken. It's a sad place. If you don't think it is then you are either living in a hole all by yourself or in a bubble where only happy fake people are allowed.
So, here is my point: if you are reading this you might be made uncomfortable, or offended, or validated, and hopefully, at some point, made to laugh. Those are my real thoughts and emotions and I hope to share them with you. Whoever you are. :)
Day 28. Path.
9 years ago