"(The devil) was a murderer from the beginning... there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44
Somebody offered us diamonds.
And they looked beautiful. They promised things like admiration from our peers and beauty and a good time and a way to forget our problems and excitement and love and power and I didn't realize the diamonds were saying those things to me, but they were. So I took them. And I'm pretty sure you took them too.
Why do we feel so judged/bored/angry/haunted/lonely?
And why does history keep repeating itself in our lives? Why do I keep dating jerks? Why do people keep letting me down? Why do I always end up drinking too much? Why haven't I met the love of my life yet? Why can't I loose the weight? Why do I constantly feel like I am being judged? Why can't I stand up for myself?
And why does shiny-happy church seem like such a ridiculous place to go for answers? I mean, really- aren't we doing fine on our own without having to get up early on Sunday mornings and put on khakis and jean skirts and then go awkwardly shake hands with people who don't really know anything about our real lives? And on top of it all have to sit through a sermon that is either tediously boring or invokes guilt and really wishing you had eaten more for breakfast?
And why, even when I am alone (or especially when I am alone), does it feel like there is something, something poking me? It's irritating. And it hurts.
We find God has a hold of our wrist, trying to pry open our clenched fist and we want nothing but to keep it shut.
But I have found, if I can remind myself to remember, I have found, that amazingly, when I have finally, reluctantly opened my cramped hand and turned my head away in shame, in that painful, exhausting place, there is Jesus. And He begins to pick the shards of glass our of my bloody palms. He wants to pull each sliver out, hold it up to the light and say, "See that right there? That's not a diamond. That is a lie. It is not true" and remove it. One by one, until all that is left are beautiful scars. Scars are like promises- there was once a wound there, but in the end, healing triumphed.
And I personally, believe that anything, ANYTHING can be healed by God's love and truth and care. It starts with fishing out the lie.
Day 28. Path.
9 years ago