hello, blog reader. you scare me a little.

The more friends I get on facebook the more nervous I get about this blog. Why? I guess it is because I am friends with lots of different kinds of people: some ultra-conservative, some very liberal; people who went to a christian school, a christian college, now work for a christian company, and are only friends with 'church people', and those who have never stepped foot inside a church at all. People who are very deep, people who like to stick to happy, surface conversation and thought. Alcoholics and people who feel uncomfortable around beer at all. I think most people like to stick within their comfort zone, be it location or type of people they surround themselves with. But I'm just not like that. I just really like people. And I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I love the quote, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." by Philo of Alexandria. Our private battles can make us feel really alone. And I don't want to contribute to the alienation we all feel when it seems like everyone around us has perfect lives. So if I am going to do this, I am going to be real and I am going to be honest. I think people can sniff out a phony anyway. And phony is boring. Who wants to read that crap?
I will not lie to you. And I will try not to lie to myself. I think that is the biggest obstacle: we don't let ourselves think about the scary stuff, the stuff we don't have answers for. I want to pierce light into those dark corners of my heart. I want to cleanse out my festering wounds.
That is what makes my blog writing a little scary for me.

To close, I will quote Emily Dickinson:

This is my letter to the World
That never wrote to Me-
The simple news that Nature told-
With tender Majesty

Her message is committed
To Hands I cannot see-
For love of Her- Sweet countrymen-
Judge tenderly of Me