one time,
for halloween, my parents made me a homemade Miss America costume. we didn't have a lot of money, especially for something so trivial as halloween, but i loved it. it was a cut-off adult blue dress from goodwill. somewhere they got a red sash and on it wrote, "Miss America 1987". and they stayed up late making me a crown of cardboard that my dad got from work and tinfoil. they glued plastic jewels to it. i thought it was beautiful.
until i got to school.
i go to walk into my second grade class and there stands... gina conway.
in a fairytail ball gown
tailored to her perfect measurements,
with layers of lace and chiffon,
glittering trim,
a real, rhinestone tiara.
and a sash that read, "Miss America 1987".
it's hard to go back there. i wish i could say that i lifted my chin, and walked proudly into that classroom. instead, i thought fast and i took off my sash. there. at least now they wouldn't know that i has hoping to be miss america too.
when i got to my seat i did something that to this day, brings me comfort in insecure moments of my life: i took out my lipstick and put another layer on. and a few more just for good measure.
so if you ever run into me and notice that i have a lot of lipstick on, please tread softly. i may be having a hard day.
Day 28. Path.
15 years ago
1 comment:
First I have to say that you really do have a way with words! I just read your blogs and I got a lot of things from them that I needed to think about.
When I read this I felt so bad. Trying to think back to that day in Second grade. I think I may have known how you felt. I am proud that you walked into that class room though. I would have ran back home and pretended I was sick! The fact that you felt that way and still walked in the room is great!
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