A friend recently told me they heard a sermon that included a 5 minute video on child sex slaves. The video went into uncomfortable detail and everyone watching was sickened. After the video, the speaker turned to the people and said something to the effect of, 'As angry and disgusted as you feel right now towards the people who sell these little girls out and those who pay for their services, this is how God feels about ALL sin.'
Yeah.
You know what that means? It means that that perfect little neighbor of yours, that perfect sibling, that perfect 'Mr. Christian' that you know, in their sin, is as disgusting to God as the worst pedophile. No one is better then you. But there is no one worse then you either.
It took the death and sacrifice of God himself to pay what we could not- our sin. Every lie, every theft, every sexual sin, every act of hate, every tiny, unseen sin had to be accounted for because God wants nothing but the best for us and the best for us is to be with him. And He can not be in the presence of sin. Any sin. Because every sin is disgusting.
On a similar note, nothing good we do can nullify a bad thing we have done. It doesn't work that way. Just like if we cheated on our spouse and then made them breakfast the next morning. The deed is done. It had consequences. It hurt somebody, even if that somebody was God alone.
There were a lot of 'religious people in Jesus' day. They gave large sums of money to the church, they memorized and quoted scripture, etc. But there was only one person to whom Jesus said, "TODAY you will be with me in paradise." Do you know who that was? It was one of the criminals hanging next to him on the cross. This man was dying. He would never give a cent to the church or the poor. He would never teach Sunday School. He would never be a missionary or even attend a church service.
But he believed.
How beautifully simple.
How fearfully difficult.
You don't have to pre-qualify for God's forgiveness. You couldn't even if you tried.
Going to church doesn't give you 'heaven points' or something.
God doesn't sit well with goody two shoes.
He wants your heart. Not your Girl Scout badges.

"If the greatest sinner on earth should repent at the moment of death, and draw his last breath in an act of love, neither the many graces he has abused, nor the many sins he has committed would stand in his way. Our Lord would receive him into His mercy." -Saint Therese of Lisieux

As the deer pants for streams of water
so my soul thirsts for you, God.
My soul thirsts for God, the living God.

When can I go and meet God?

Will I ever make it?

My tears have been my food day and night,
while people pester me all day long,
"Where is this God of yours?"
I go over and over these things
emptying the pockets of my life.

I used to go to the house of God....

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
But. I will put my hope in God.
I will still praise him,
For he is my Savior.
He is my God.

My soul is so downcast within me,
therefore I will remember you
and everything I know of you.
Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls
all your waves and breakers
crash into me, over me.

God promises to love me by day
and sing songs over me through the night.

Sometimes I ask God, my rock solid God,
"Why did you let me down?
Why have you forgotten me?
Why am I walking around in my tears
harassed by my enemies?
My bones suffer mortal agony
as they taunt me
"Where is your God?"

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
I will put my hope in God,
I will still praise him,
He is my God.



Not my poem.
It's David's.

Think you're bad?
This guy had multiple wives. And, as if he wasn't getting enough sex, he had an affair with another man's wife. He got her pregnant. So he had her husband killed to cover it up. And that's just the start. David was a screw up. He let his loved ones down over and over again. He hurt people. He was a liar.

But David wrote songs. They were poems and prayers and accusations and confessions and praises and petitions and they were honest. They were his private thoughts for God. And God loved that. David was called "a man after God's own heart".
David struggled with,
and fought for,
his beautiful relationship with God.

(The above poem is from the Bible, Psalm 42. TNIV and The Message combo on my part.)